black&gold.
WHO I WAS, WHO I AM, WHO IM GOING TO BE?
Sunday, July 06, 2008

A girl with ambitions - a heart with hopes
A smiling figure at all sorts of jokes
One thought it took to make her feel
One action she did to start the wheel

Her mind was set to achieve a dream
Little did she know, her future was dim
With a twist of fate
It was too late

Blood and pus filled her head
people were surprised she wasn't dead
A girl with determination all so strong
One of a kind that did belong

Waking to a whole new start,
she woke up feeling like she lost a part
Anger resentment worry and fears
Drowned her emotions all in tears
Never knew what she could do
with love and hope, she pulled things through

In agony she turned nowhere,
She wanted help but wouldnt dare
Looked down upon,
she was so sad,
the situation she was in was really bad
life then meant nothing to her
with all she went through it was a whirl.

Life seemed bad for Jane
Living it became a pain
Family and friends gave up not,
Jane only fought fought fought
A long and arduous journey it was
Through it all, Jane didnt pause
One fine day she made it through
Her hopes her dreams her wishes came true




2 years, 10 months, 4 hours since I came round.

Yes, you might be wondering. Omg, why do I remember so clearly? To be truthul, that one incident marked a real impact in my life. I am certain and firm that the whole experience will be etched in me, always. It will hit me when I'm alone. The fact that my life was second to death, I went through a rough period, a time where nothing seemed to matter more to me than just lying on the hard mattres, staring into space, having no memory of anything, no identity of what had happened what I been through.

Being a lively girl I used to be, with hopes and dreams I wanted to achieve - Everything was shattered on the 30th March 2006. "PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII BANG!" was all I could remember before snapping out of my senses, lying unconscious on the cold floor.

Waking up and realizing I remembered nothing. Nothing seemed familiar, I couldnt even remember my mum - someone I love so much.

This whole accident, I hope to wake up one day and notice I am still living a dream. Till this day, I cannot bring myself to accept all that I've been through. I want nothing of that sort to happen.

Thank you to those who were there, reminding me of the important things I had in life, those which were dear to me.

I still thank God that I pulled through it, with love and hope I realized I was not alone. This gave me enough strength and courage and up till this date, there is a tinge of regret burning in me. I shouldnt have drove that day.I shouldnt have rushed that day. I shouldnt have been in a mess that day.

I shouldnt, I shouldnt, I shouldnt. Can't do anything, can I?

I was, for sure, a survivor of memory loss! (TO PUT IT IN A GOOD WAY, AT LEAST.)

TO BE CONTINUED.......



Thursday, July 03, 2008

“If you want to identify me, ask me not where I live, or what I like to eat, or how I comb my hair, but ask me what I am living for, in detail, and ask me what I think is keeping me from living fully for the things I want to live for. Between those two answers you can determine the identity of any person.”
-Thomas Mertin, The Man In The Sycamore Tree

It’s been days since I came round. I’ve been told of where I (used to) live, what I “liked” to eat, or even how I was like but if it wasn’t for them, would I even come to know of such things? I ask myself, what am I living for, or what is keeping me from living fully for the things I want to live for. And it pains me to realize I don’t even know myself. Every time I look into the mirror, and see a pair of unfamiliar eyes staring back at me, I wonder to myself, is this really me? Who and what kind of person she was? Who am I?

They are my families, my friends. Well, at least, that’s what they say. I see and feel the love and care they have for me, but it pains me to know I can never return them. I’m sorry.. but I’m sure, the girl you all once knew, really loved all of you.. yes, I’m sure.. I’m sure..



Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Im back you guys! So how I celebrated :

I went out with Mary and Esther. It has been sometime since I went out with them. They are my superdupermegaultra close buddies. They were soooooo happy for me! ahhh, i had tears of joy, when they surprised me 'on the spot' to congratulate me. =)

It was a great meet-up. How sweet life is.

They were always there for me when I had problems. The day ended sooo happily. one two three four five six....... a million things to rejoic about!

wow, im a happy girl:)



Monday, June 30, 2008

I am so happy today!

I woke up to an email saying I won the drama competition!

OMG OMG OMG.

How do I explain this happiness in me?

AHHHHHHHHH OMG YAY YAY YAY:D

Thank God!

omg, im actually so super happy that I cant type really. It's like a dream come true.

Jeez, before I start ranting rubbish, Im going out to celebrate.

xoxo, Jane.


Friday, June 06, 2008

My life has been one great big joke,

A dance that's walked,

A song that's spoke,

I laugh so hard I almost choke,

When I think about myself.

~Maya Angelou.


All characters used and described are fictional.
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